Vlasic Man

by Jidinner

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about

Had to continue the annual tradition of "Yankovicing" a popular rap song with some help from my friend Roman GiantArmour Hotdogs (bka Stryfe). Enjoy reading along to the song.

lyrics

12P/Finally lunch time
Got the Better Made
And a Faygo on the side
Turkey meat/Very thin sliced
So it can be piled like a half a foot high
Oh me, oh me, oh my
Tomato, lettuce, cheese
All that come on that rye? Like…
Oh me, oh me, oh my
If it don't come with pickles
Why the hell would I buy

Even if we overpay x4

I'm a Vlasic man
Kosher dill spears
Keep it real in the field
I'm a Vlasic man
Please don't get that sweet relish shit
I'm a Vlasic man
Horizontal cut real slim
Make the sandwich fantastic, man
Yeah baby, I'm a Vlasic man

I open up the mustard like whoa
Some Dijon got on my clothes
I ain't even pissed off tho
These pickles are about to be goals, but…
Don't bring me that jar of
Bread & Butter
Cause that shit tastes so wrong
Mumma fucka
Why the hell is it CALLED
Bread & Butter
Them shits should be against the law
Mumma fucka

Jar look like Damon Wayans
When he ain't got a home
But my pastrami need sourdough
If your pickle don't snap let it go
Them generic brands taste like toes
I got a…
Little bird to bring em thru mufukka
I want that salty taste when I chew Mufukka
I put em on my southern chicken too mumma fukka
Yard bird and pickled 'cumbers is the truth mumma fukka...

Even if we overpay x4

I'm a Vlasic man
Kosher dill spears
Keep it real in the field
I'm a Vlasic man
Please don't get that sweet relish shit
I'm a Vlasic man
Horizontal cut real slim
Make the sandwich fantastic, man
Yeah baby, I'm a Vlasic man

(This gyro good as fuck)

Just put cucumbers in some vinegar
Maybe salt & pepper but don't add sugar
Usually like them halved or in 4 quarters
But crinkle cut is dope on a hamburger
I'll tell how it go
Take a trip to Sam's Club
Get em for the low
Even if Costco's you're favorite bulk store
You can buy a 10 gallon jug
And pay only 4… oh
I need them pickles my lord (lord)
Or else my shawarma's a bore (bore)
Get 'em, we'll get 'em
I know that we'll get 'em
But I want the jar with a stork OH

I'm a Vlasic man
Kosher dill spears
Keep it real in the field
I'm a Vlasic man
Please don't get that sweet relish shit
I'm a Vlasic man
Horizontal cut real slim
Make the sandwich fantastic, man
Yeah baby, I'm a Vlasic man

credits

released December 28, 2015

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about

Rufio Jones Detroit, Michigan

I'm a man that used to be a kid that tries to revisit those times through song.

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